Honey, Your Butt is Big Enough Just Like It Is

“So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin’ workout tapes by Fonda. But Fonda ain’t got a motor in the back of her Honda” – Sir Mix A Lot, Baby Got Back

In a weird and tragic story, a doctor (resident I think) in Florida has been busted for illegal butt implant surgeries in which he injected, I kid you not, super glue and fix-a-flat into posteriors of women who wanted more ample backsides.

This is dumb.

A while back I remember a survey in which women were asked if they would undergo a procedure that gave them a bigger IQ and a bigger butt at the same time. A vast majority said “no”. The study was used to cast aspersions at women for vanity, but the methodology was flawed beyond reason. Women were asked to sacrifice a known quantity (their current posterior) in exchange for a nearly unknowable quantity (the value of a larger IQ). It’s not a decision that has a clear answer and people generally shy away from change in these situations. Better to stick with what you know. I suspect if they had asked about a smaller IQ and a smaller butt you may have also gotten women to say “no” – preferring to stick with the known versus the unknown.

Flawed science aside, the survey did get one generality right. Most women, and by most I mean really, really, really most, would prefer a smaller backside. (I’d prefer a smaller gut – but as a guy my weight issues are typically not concentrated in my backside.) I don’t think I’ve ever known a female who wanted to have a larger behind.

I’ve never been much of an advocate for plastic surgery. It usually doesn’t work out and the people look worse than before. Then the cycle spirals out of control. I especially don’t understand why beautiful 20-year-old girls want nose jobs. STOP!!! It’s just dumb. It will not fill any voids in your life. You’re beautiful like you are. You be you.

As for the girls out there who are interested in plastic surgery for increasing the size of the backside … STOP! Your butt is plenty big just like it is. You don’t need this surgery.

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