Bankers Return to the Terminator Pickup Line

“The 600 series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy, but these are new. They look human… sweat, bad breath, everything. Very hard to spot. I had to wait till he moved on you before I could zero him.” – Kyle Reese, the Terminator

It was a common joke amongst high school and/or college boys that “the Terminator Pickup Line” was ridiculous and couldn’t possibly work. “Hi. I’m from the future. I was sent by your son (and my son too, as it turns out) to save you. A robot, also from the future, has been sent here to kill you. If you want to live, come with me [… and all that implies].” Seriously? No way does any sane female leave the bar with that guy. But Sarah Connor sure did.

It basically amounts to the “throw the gun when you’re out of bullets” form of argumentation. “The world will end if you don’t do what I want!” If someone tells you this, and then offers you little-to-no evidence, you should direct them to the nearest bridge and tell them to take a jump.

Speaking of, the bankers are on the move with this argument once again. They used it back in the 2008 financial crisis, “the entire banking system will collapse if you don’t give us nearly $800 billion in taxpayer dollars!” – oh that we would have had some leaders who would have pointed them to nearby bridges (there are plenty of good ones in DC).

Now they’re back for more. The Telegraph is reporting that “An entire system of global trade is risk.” Or, more to the point, “the world will end unless you give us [the bankers] a TON of money.”

Try this excerpt: “It is, first, essential that confidence in the eurozone’s banking system be restored through recapitalisation of its banks, where necessary with public money. This would help bring a halt to the destructive downward cycle in credit. ” [emphasis added]

That’s awesome. The most important thing is that we restore confidence through recapitalization of the banks – even if it means ripping off the average man and introducing massive moral hazard into the system. None of those things matter, you see – because bank bond holders (who are loaded) are in danger of losing a lot of money here if the credit crisis continues (and it will).

Let me translate that into something more sarcastic: “The powerful financial elite have the system rigged in their favor. Continual monetary inflation gradually shifts money from the people to the connected (the bankers, in this case) and they make a great profit from it – it’s how they become and stay wealthy. Now though, the system is in danger of dramatically reversing course, with those bankers taking a massive hit to their wealth. This isn’t fair at all, you see. We, the politicians, have given them our word that the system will always favor them, and always put money in their pockets. If that stops then we are made out to be liars – and we will live up to our word and our promises (that we made on your backs)!”

The world won’t end if the euro collapses. It will mean a serious loss of wealth for some, but the world will not end.

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